


First kiss

by UnadulteratedFanfiction



Category: Fallen Hero Series - Malin Rydén
Genre: Anger Management, First Kiss, Gay Panic, Implied/Referenced Abuse, M/M, confused
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-03-13
Updated: 2021-03-13
Packaged: 2021-03-21 14:01:35
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,783
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30022866
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/UnadulteratedFanfiction/pseuds/UnadulteratedFanfiction
Summary: Past days, a year and a half into his heroic career, Ash stood by Ortega as they took down Psychopathor.It's the aftermath of the battle, things go off-script, and Ash being Ash, goes into a full meltdown.
Relationships: Ortega/Sidestep (Fallen Hero)
Kudos: 9





	1. Breakup

Breakup  
Second short, Ash having a really, really bad day, and making bad choices to go along with it. 

Some spoilers for Rebirth and a minor spoiler for retribution 

No other specific warnings here.   
_________________________________________

“Sidestep wait, please don’t go!!” he calls, but you’re not stopping. 

Not after what just happened.

He’s faster, and your legs aren’t right but you have the grappling hook, so you can rappel back to the ground floor in a single movement while flipping him the bird. 

The look of horror on his face as you move away! As if he was the one who had something to feel bad about…

You wish you had punched him before taking off, but this is far safer. 

Better to go and not see him ever again.

You land just next to Steel who is limping back into the colorless building, cursing and sweating with his armor half destroyed by plasma burns. He shouldn’t be mad though, that thing really worked, he didn’t even feel the heat from the direct blast he took, and even with all the damage, the fall from above didn’t seem to register at all.

Lucky him. 

“What happened? Where is Charge?” he asks, bewildered, his mind emitting waves of concern, fearing disaster happened and he’s too late. “Why are you not with him?!” 

“Fuck Charge,” you grunt as you try to move past, but you’re limping, too slow to evade and he grabs you by the front of your suit, pulling you off the ground, lifting you up to his face with a modded grip. 

“Listen you little shit! This isn’t a joke. You can pull shit with the Marshal but not with me. I don’t care if you bailed and left Charge alone with that maniac, you’re notleaving before you tell me exactly what’s going on up there. SITREP, RIGHT NOW!!” he barks. 

Sitrep. 

The sergeant wants a sitrep… then he will get it. 

“Sir yes sir! Hostile had overwhelming firepower, and left us no way to get close sir! We decided to use a baiting maneuver with me as the bait sir! I got shot, moderate damage on both legs sir! Bait was successful, Marshal closed the distance through a blindspot and neutralized the hostile sir!” you yell back as you were taught to in a tone that he’s all too familiar with. 

“You… defeated him?”

“Sir yes sir! Permission to leave the field, sir!”

“Are you’re hurt?” he says, finally focusing on your damaged suit and the bloodstains on your legs. “I… we’ll get you a doctor… Is Charge hurt too?”

“No, the Marshal’s not hurt sir! Permission to leave the field, sir!” you repeat

He finally puts you down, only then realizing he’s still holding you up.

The moment your feet touch the ground, you turn 180 and move as fast as you can with your hurt legs, well out of his reach.

“Sidestep!” he calls. But you move further away and start walking away. “Come back here!” 

You turn, yelling at him again “I’m done playing soldier and I don’t answer to you! I’m just some rando civilian, just like you always tell me, don’t you remember?” 

“We’ve got an ambulance with our own doctor on-site dumbass, he can give you first aid if you just wait 10 minutes!”

“Fuck you and your ambulance!”

“Why do you always have to be such a shit? What even happened up there?”

“Asshole!” You yell back, picking up a rock and tossing it at him as hard as you can. He blocks it with his metal arm, and it bounces off harmlessly. 

“Real mature Sidestep. Real mature!” 

“I’m out, you hear me? OUT!” you let out as you walk away. 

“Darn right you’re out! And don’t you dare come back!

“I won’t!” 

You don’t make more than ten steps forward before you hear the flashes. You were too unfocused to even notice the press, all around you like a flock of vultures. 

“What happened to Psychopathor?! Where you just yelling at Sargent Steel?” The nice white lady from the Hero Magazine asks, sticking a microphone at your masked face so hard she almost makes you choke on it. Not so nice today, this lady. Not nice at all 

“He got fucked.” you say. Cursing is a strategy, you’re harder to publish if you’re not for all audiences. “And whoever I was yelling at is none of your damn business” you reply, walking on. 

“Hey Sidestep, can we publish your pictures?” The older black newsman from the Angel’s Journal whose name you can never remember asks. “The public would want to see this!”

You’re about to say no as usual, but as you stare into the colorless road you’ll have to walk with them pestering you before you can get out of sight, something breaks. 

What’s the point of it all?

And so you turn around and walk towards them, not something they’re used to.  
“I’ll allow pictures just this time. And I also want to make a statement”

They all get in line at that, because as a rule, you don’t make statements. 

Once they’re all ready, you let it out. 

It’s very brief.

Just a few words, but everyone’s still struggling to digest it even after you’re out of sight. 

They’ll never publish any of it, you know that, but at least you could let everyone know what you think, for once. 

Keep walking. 

Keep walking. 

Keep walking. 

You keep walking and the neon lights of the shops around you begin regaining color, the world coming back to you… and it HURTS

Shit, it hurts!!!! Hurts so much..,.

You know you won’t make it to your apartment like this.

Stop. 

Deep breath…

And then you punch at your hurt leg once, twice, thrice… and that does it, the colors fade away again, the pain gate kicking in once more. Pain isn’t real anymore. Just your perception. 

Good. 

You just hope it lasts until you get back.


	2. First Kiss

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Follow up to the last fic (Breakup)  
> A friendly guest visits Ash to talk about the latest news.   
> Trigger warning  
> -Past abuse (nongraphic)

“Stupid doll! Why did you stop?!” he asks, furious. You’ve never seen him so mad. 

“I-I don’t know… I didn’t expect…that you..” you stutter confused, the tip of your fingers reaching for your lips, still trying to process what just happened.

The jolt is sudden, painful and frantic, and has you panting, holding onto the wall as it ends. No pain gate to hide behind when they do that. 

But you didn’t expect that he would do that.

“You only stop when I tell you to stop!” he yells

“I’m sorry sir!, Please don’t do that...-” you add quickly but begging is useless now. 

He presses the button again. And again. And again.

You’re lying on the floor, trying to regain your breath when it finally stops, your body still trembling. 

“Get back up now, dog” he orders, “I mean it”

You struggle to get back on your feet, wobbly legs, and heavy breathing

“I’ll… I’ll do it again! It’ll be better this time!” you plead. 

“It damn well better be,” he says, glaring at you. “Let’s start from the beginning… and I want you to get her hair right this time.”

“It’ll be perfect. Just like you remember her, I promise” you say quickly

“Good. Begin!” he gives you your cue. 

You focus on his eyes, into his mind taking in his memories, giving it all to recreate her once more, bring her back to life for him. 

Every detail, every aspect of her mind he remembers, her personality… and then…

She smiles

\----------------

The banging on your door breaks you from the nightmare. 

It takes a lot more than usual to come back to reality and scan to see who is it that’s knocking there.

“ _What_?” you hate verbal telepathy but It’ll take some time to get dressed with all the necessary layers. 

“ _Was just passing by and stopped to say hi_ ” There’s something inherently funny in the single line of their response. 

“ _Cut the bullshit, we’re literally on the opposite end of town from where you live_ ” you think back, as the struggle with pants continues, very real. Legs still hurt like hell, and you had to do your own stitches last night, because who else would? 

Steels ambulance? Fat chance...

“ _Ok, maybe I got a taxi and two buses to get here tosay hi and check on you_ ” 

You grab a can of beer from the small fridge in passing and head to the door, opening it, staring up at Themmie, smiling at you on the other side, some newspapers, and magazines under their arm. 

“Hi, there!” they wave. 

“Good. You said hi, you saw I’m still alive, so now you can go” you say, opening the can and taking a sip.

“Aww, you won’t even let me come in?”

“Ortega obviously sent you,” you say, crossing your arms

“Of course he did, but I would have come anyway”

You narrow your gaze. If it was anyone else, you would be having this conversation trough a locked door, but this is Themmie… They are a special case. 

“What do you want?” you ask, raising your chin.

“Just to chat”

“About?”

“The current headlines? You made it to the front page! You’re a big boy now!”

“Wha…” you start, but they hand you a newspaper, with your picture on the front page as they said. Under it, in bold, underlined letters is your statement from last night. 

##  **FUCK THE RANGERS!**

“Oh fuck me…” you groan.

“Oooh, so that offer really extends to all of us? I have to say it’s a bit too early in the morning for me. Mind If I come in?” 

“I can’t believe they actually published that,” you relent, moving away from the door, turning the page to skim at the article. 

“Wow… this is a DUMP” they ponder upon walking past the door. “But it’s better than the last dump I guess, so kudos on that” 

“Are there other articles?” you ask, annoyed, handing him another cold beer as you sit by the old table. 

“ I just brought a few, but there’s plenty more where this came from,” they say taking the only other chair and passing you the rest of the magazines and papers. 

Frontpage, same message, every single one of them. 

“Shit”

“Hey, you shouldn’t complain! There’s plenty of decade-old heroes that never get a front page!”

“I got really mad last night ok? I didn’t mean for… any of that” you say tossing the papers back his way. 

“Was it about the bait thing?” they ask, taking one of the magazines from the pile. “There’s a whole interview with Captain Blaze dragging Ortega’s ass about using his sidekick as human shields and live bait”

“Let me see that, and I’m not his sidekick...” you say taking it from them

The whole article is a disgusting little hit-piece whit Blaze using you as ammunition to hit Ortega with and basically gloating about it. But with both Steel and you getting shot while Ortega came out unscathed, the evidence’s on his side. 

“If you want to join the Guardians man, I bet they’d take you right now” They grin. 

“I don’t want to join a team… and how did they even know about the bait thing?”

“You yelled it at Steel, remember? Then the sarge tried to explain how baiting the enemy is a valid strategy and that Charge did the right thing in coming up with it…”

“How did that go?” 

“Read it yourself” they add passing another article your way. The title says it all.

Loyal friend, or Devil’s Advocate? An opinion piece published by Deveraux, one of the mayor’s closest allies in the last years, trashing Charge’s ethics and field abilities. 

“The bait wasn’t even his idea” you sigh. “I’m the one that came up with it”

“Whaa… you being serious?”

“Why didn’t Charge just tell them?” 

“Charge made no comments, said nothing, just walked past. I don’t think they’d have believed that if he did anyway, but he didn’t even tell us what happened back at the HQ. He just wanted me to bring you a message, and then locked himself up in his office and hasn’t come out. I think he slept there.”

“Huh. And what message is that?” you ask, pretending disinterest.

“He just wanted me to tell you he’s really sorry about what happened up there. That he wasn’t thinking, and that he’s an idiot, and wants to apologize” “He is an idiot,” you say, not looking at them. 

“So you’re not mad about being used as Psychopathor-bait?” 

“No”

“Then what the hell’s going on? Why did you storm off like that” they ask. 

“I can’t tell you.”

“Why not?”

“Because it’s… it’s...” How can you explain what you don’t understand?

“Because... it’s what? Bad? Twisted? Secret?

“No… no it’s just…”

“Problematic? Embarrassing?”

“It’s personal dammit!” you raise your voice. 

“Well, lucky you, I’m your friend! You can talk personal stuff with me!”

“How do I know you won’t tell anyone else?”

“Seriously?” they ask, glaring, making you flinch with guilt.

“Sorry” you avoid the gaze. “I shouldn’t have said that...I know you won’t, Themmie” 

“It’s ok” 

“Alright, I’ll tell you. But promise me you won’t tell a living soul!”

“You already said you know I won’t!” 

“Promise!” 

“Fine, fine, I promise I won’t tell anyone. Now tell me!”

“Ok… when I tried to bait Psychopathor, I dodged a few blasts… but then he got me. Vaporized the wall I was using for cover, got covered in debris, couldn’t get up… then Charge came from behind, and zapped him.”

“Uhu. Uhu” he nods “Go on”

“So Charge… Ortega.. He got closer and helped take all the shit off my legs and lifted me up… and then… and then...”

“And then what?” they ask. 

You walked yourself up to the edge on your own, and now there’s no turning back it seems.

“And then he kissed me”

“HE DID WHAT?!?!!?”

“Don’t make me say it again” 

“WHAT? ARE YOU SHITTING ME??” 

“I TOLD YOU HE FUCKIGN KISSED ME, OK?!”

“And then what happened?!?!?!”

“I don’t know … I didn’t expect it!”

“So you didn’t want it?!” 

“I don’t know! It was too fast!” 

“YOU DON’T KNOW!?” 

“I don’t!”

“What did you do?”

“I think I might have kissed him back” 

“YOU DID WHAT?!” 

“STOP YELLING AT ME!”

“Ok. Ok….” they take a few moments to cool down, the thoughts running wildly in his brain. “So let’s go over this again”

You sigh and nod. 

“He. Charge, Ortega, Marshal Sparkles,... He kissed you”

“Yes, without warning”

“After saving your life”

“He didn’t save my life it was all part of the plan!!” 

“So after saving your life, he kissed you without warning”

You grumble, but still, nod “More or less” 

“And you. Sidestep. Ash. My buddy… you KISSED HIM BACK?”

“I might”

“Alright,” They nod, taking a few deep breaths, too excited. “So… tell me how… how do we go from there… to this?” they point at the newspaper front page. 

“He.. uh…”

“Did he do anything else?” 

“After we kissed… His mods malfunctioned. Shocked the hell out of me” And brought back memories, but you don’t say that.

“Whaaaa…”

“He started apologizing, and that’s when I realized what just happened… I pushed him away… told him to get off me, told him to fuck off, and got the hell out of there”

“You… oh my god…you just left? Didn’t he follow?”

“Well, he tried, but I was faster” 

That’s when you realized what was really happening.

After all, you went through, after all the shit they put you through… After all that you had to go and make out with a human again? And not just ANY human but an actual walking taser?! 

What were you thinking, getting so close to him in the first place? Risking your cover for what?!

And then you kissed him back! Idiot! 

But wasn’t it nice for a brief moment…?

No? yes?

“He kissed you and it freaked you out”

“Yeah, I panicked! Didn’t know what to do, then Steel was down there being an asshole, the media was all around and It felt like there was no one on my team…” There’s never anyone on your team. “Hey, I’m team Sidestep!” Except for Themmie of course 

“Thanks” you give him a weak smile. 

“Do you want me to talk to him?” 

“I don’t know...”

“Do you want to call him yourself and talk this out?”

“I don’t know what to say to him”

“Do you want me to kick his ass?”

“NO!”

“Well do you want to kiss him again?”

“...” you stare at him, narrowed gaze.

“Hey man, just naming all the options here!”


End file.
